The Conservative Beauty Contest
The Great Tory Speech-Off
This week has been a wonderfully cheery affair. Freed from the tedious restraints of government, Tory MPs have spent four days doing what they love most: plotting and scheming against each other.
Do you have some dim idea that the year may not all have gone the Conservative Party’s way? That they might have come close to psephological extinction? There has been no hint of it in Birmingham. Future conferences will see depression, anger, bargaining and acceptance, but this one has been all about denial. After Labour’s difficult couple of weeks, the Tories have decided that the nation has returned to its senses. They are like a man convinced his ex is coming back to him. He’s heard that she’s bored of shagging Harry Styles and hanging out on yachts, and wants to get back to helping him run a chip shop in Droitwich. Any day now!
Due to the time difference, I pretty much every morning wake up in Sydney to one of your sketches freshly published. I’m not sure if it’s silly or not but it’s become something I really look forward to as a way to start my day, usually reading them before i get out of bed. You have just nailed this form of writing mate and I particularly love the ones where you can feel the cheeky smile you have on your face as you’re writing some of the lines
Thankyou
and if you are reading that, you might like this: https://open.substack.com/pub/wonklifebalance/p/take-me-to-your-leader?r=3yrkgp&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true